So it was a very long week. I feel like I did a lot, but at the same time not. I am not on the mission to become obsessed with working out. With that being said. I AM TOTALLY NOT! I hate it so much! But my thought process is that if I try to become someone who always has to go to the gym, than maybe I will at least get there more than I usually do. Which is not often at all. My doctor wants me to work out at least 5 times a week for 45-60 minutes. Really working up a sweat. I almost died when he said this. At the point he had said this I had started to go for walks and I was losing some weight, but that was not enough he said. So now here I am almost a year later and still trying to get to the gym at least three times a week, never mind five!
I most of the time feel good after leaving the gym. The real issue comes from traveling almost twenty minutes to get to it. I have tried to do workouts at home, but they never work. First, I live in a second floor apartment so I have to be mindful of the tenants downstairs. Secondly, there is always something to distract me from doing it. (I own at least 300 books for starters, never mind the television) Finally, I just do not workout as hard when I am at home. I do not know if it is the comfortable setting, or that there is no one there to judge me. But I just get lazy at home.
I am lucky to say that the school I work at have a newly renovated Weight Room, that is free for the staff to use. I am not willing to spend money on a gym, because I know myself and at some point I will stop going. Or so I thought. But it is also nice because not many other staff members use it, so I am always alone when I go. I absolutely hate workout with other people. That only people I feel comfortable working out with is my sister and a small group of very close friends. I have been told that I should not be embarrassed to workout in front of other people. But I cannot help but feel that way. The people I usually see or have seen at the gym, are fit and just need to tone up. I on the other hand I am extremely over weight and know I do not know how to use half of the equipment that is in there. While I am assured that they are thinking “wow look at her go! She is getting healthy!”. I know that is probably not the case. It is probably more like “Look another fat person attempting at being good, but she is going to find it to hard and go right back to what she did before.” And that was not the case, at least not anymore. I know you should not dwell on what other people think , but who doesn’t. With all that said, I am trying to get over this fear. It is not going to be easy but I am going to try my best.
So here is to another week of trying to get to the gym as many times as I can!