So after my, what I thought, was an inspirational post last week, It all went to S*#!
I did not make it to the gym once last week, I constantly was craving sweets and gave into those cravings. And I had excuses for everything I did. Because of this I feel like crap, physically and emotionally. This is what I find is the danger of setting goals that are to high and some that are not high enough. So now I am in quite a depressive funk. I do not want to do anything, I want to eat everything I see.
I know I cannot give in, and I am going to try really hard not to this week. Hopefully I will be successful and not allow myself to slack off and give into my weaknesses.
I am finding it harder and harder to find time and get the will to go to the gym. I work 7:30 – 2:15 Monday thru Friday at one job. I then work three – five days at my second job from 3-8 on weekdays and from 10-3 on weekends, and adding more and more as we get into spring and them summer. There is also a fifteen minute drive to get the gym. So getting up the effort sometimes is more than I can handle. I know I previously wrote about forcing myself to become obsessed with going to the gym… well I can surely say that it is not working.
Now food is becoming more and more of a problem for me. It is not that I am always hungry, but I feel like I always need to be eating something. I am been craving sweets upon sweets, and MACDONALDS! I just want a Burger and Fries! Even now I want to go get some! UGHH! It does not help that I drive past MacDonald’s every day, and my second job is at a restaurant and Ice cream shop where I am constantly surrounded by food that is horrible for me. This week has really made me consider going to see a nutritionist and getting on a diet plan.
But I think I came up with this weeks motto or question. Will it Kill you?
- I really want a Burger and Fries! Will it Kill You to not have it? : No, it will be better for you not to eat it and you will survive without it.
- I want to stay at home on the couch and not go out in the cold to the gum. Will it kill you to go? : No, It will be better to go and burn off, and if you cannot find time to drive to the gym at least watch a video on Youtube that you can work out to.
- CHOCOLATE CAKE and ICE CREAM! Will it kill you not to eat it? No, there are other ways to get sweets in your life, fruits, yogurt, even frozen yogurt is better than Ice Cream
- If I give into all of my cravings and laziness. Will it kill me?: It may not instantly, but if I do not start to really take care of my body, I am not going to live long and I am going to lead a life that is unhealthy, bland, and lonely. I will not be able to do all the things I want to do because of my weight. I will not be able to experience what other are doing, because my weight and health will be holding me back.
This is it, I need to realize that only I can change how I act. No one else can do it for me. Would it be easier if I was made of money and could hire some one to make all of my food, be a personal trainer, and stop me from doing harmful things, yes it would. But I am not that person. I am human. I will make mistakes. I will stumble and fall. But I am the only one who can pick myself up and carry on.
So Will it Kill Me to keep trying, even in the face on constant failure? No.