Rainy Days

Rain, rain, rain. It is no longer April but the rain still keeps coming! And it is effecting my morning walks. So much so that I have not gone on one yet this week! That and the weather just makes me want to stay at home and curl up on the couch and read/watch TV. This is a lot to battle against, but I am trying. I have also been SO HUNGRY the last few days. I am tracking all my food but I just am constantly looking for food to eat. This is made even harder when I am working at the restaurant where I am in constant contact with ice cream and fried food. So hard! But I have to keep on trying.

I did end up weighing my self this morning and I gained the two pounds I had lost last week back. No so excited about that. Actually making me feel a little crappy about myself … This is something I know never helps me. I was also complimented yesterday on my looks. It is was nice to hear and I thanked them, but I also told them that they were being to nice. I just do not feel like I can look good or attractive this much over weight. With that being said I also decided to join a dating site yesterday as well, which is what sparked the compliment in the first place. In the site it asked about body type and they gave five choices (Slender, Athletic, Average, A Few Extra Pounds, and Heavyset). While they are some choices, I do not feel that they give enough variety. While I know I am over A Few Extra Pounds, I do not like the term Heavyset. It is not flattering I am more for Curvy or Voluptuous. But I am not the designer of the site, so I have no say. Heavyset it is. I just feel that I am not going to get anyone who is willing to get to know me first without looking judging me for my looks. While I did post photos of myself head to toe, I also chose to pick the most flattering ones I can. Who wouldn’t right?

Not only that, I am also terrified on online dating, but I feel it is the only way I am going to meet anyone. I am to busy to be out partying and meeting new people in my hometown. That and I do not want to meet someone who is going to party all of the time. I am not that kind of person. So online dating it is and we will see how it goes.


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