Hello there! I am Becca, and this is going to be account of challenges and successes I am going to have on my journey to Becoming Me.
I decided to start a blog to track my progress and fall backs on my way to a healthy weight and a healthy life. I have been struggling with my weight since I have been Fourteen. That was the moment I started to get the “you should watch your weight”, “get outside more”, “maybe you should try…”. I was always said out of love from my family, but on the other hand I was told “you are so beautiful”, “you don’t need to be skinny”, “if you get to skinny you will look anorexic because you are big boned”. So to me it was very confusing. I kept on going along like I was, not changing anything.
Looking back, I am realizing my childhood best-friend and her family actually had a very bad influence on me and my diet. I remember days going over and all they had to drink was Diet Soda. For supper we would have Spaghetti Sandwiches ( literally spaghetti and meatballs in between garlic bread) followed by doubled stuffed Oreo cookies with canned whipped cream on top. To a tween this was the best meal EVER! There was also always Little Debbie snacks in the cupboard, and soda in the fridge. Than I continued to eat that way at home. There were some things that my mother put a stop to immediately. Like we rarely, if ever had soda in the house. And at some points she felt guilty for letting me spend so much time at my friends house, because it had such a negative impact on my life and health.
As I got further into High School, I stopped seeing that friend as much( for may different reasons) we just grew apart. But my eating habits did not change. I remember sneaking snacks when my parents weren’t looking and feeling guilty about it. I know I didn’t need it, but I wanted it. I know I could have just asked if I could have it, but I also knew I would get the look, or told I don’t need it. So I began sneaking it, stashing them in my room, eating when they were not at home. Which made no sense! My family would never have told me I could not have a snack or eat food! It was all guilt for knowing I was doing something that was not good for me. You could not tell me that at the time though. I was to smart for that.
Than College started with late nights, early mornings, and the introduction of COFFEE! Yes, I am a coffee addict. Now at this point I had been on Weight Watchers twice, had a subscription to the Curves program, and had bought a treadmill off my grandfather so I could workout at home. At this point I decided maybe if I had someone to go to the gym with I would actually go. So I asked my best friend, who had trained in kickboxing, to be my unofficial trainer. We lasted 5 months going to the gym at 5 in the morning! I lost weight, but just like every other time before we slowly sputtered out. And just like every other time I gained all my weight back PLUS! So as time went on I gained more and more, and soon I was in a size 24 and weighed 280 lbs. That was really by breaking point.
Now, through all this there were some other factors that I noticed. I had horrid acne, that never went away no matter what I tried. And I went over nine months without have a menstrual cycle. Now I had gone a few months in between them, and was always told that my family had always had irregular periods, so I never thought anything of it. But at the nine month mark, 3/4 of a year, I knew I should probably say something. So I went to the doctors, and after many, many tests I was diagnosed with PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome. This will probably be another post). With this new information about my body and how I need to change my life, I started taking my health much more seriously. I started eating better, cutting back on my food and what kind of food I was eating. Going for walks more and more often. I started using Sparkpeople, which is a free website and app, to help track your food, workout, and weight.
So this was supposed to be a short summary of who I am and what has lead me to this point, but it ended up being a lot longer than I expected. Here is to hoping that this time I will succeed in Becoming Me.